First Gander

  At 09.43 yestermorn, (made that word up, spread it), Elouise and I first laid eyes on what will be our child. We arrived early thanks to Laura, Elouise's mum who drove us to Tameside Hospital. I've worked in cleaner kitchens. Mid-service... I'm sure it's up to standards and all, but it looks like a 60's office block/high school hybrid. That said, there was an amazing original Cadillac parked up near the pregnant people place. Hopefully get a photo next time. But yeah, it was beautiful and brightened the place up a bit. That and the DB9 round the corner. If it was on The Sims, then my "room" stat would have gone up a bit because of the cars, but that's about it. All credit to the doctors and their taste in motors...

  Anyways, we were seen to a little early which was a bonus. We walked into this darkened room with the curtains drawn. It was nice as I'm not normally up before 3pm and the sunlight had been toasting my eyeballs.

  There was a sort of table thing for El to lie on, and a chair tucked in the corner for me to sit on. I sat down and scooched a little forward to try and see the screen, but the obstetrician wouldn't allow it. She explained that this was so that I wouldn't see anything unusual first and cause a panic, as it had happened before and had been "quite traumatic".

  She then picked up a carton of jelly that was running low and jolted some out. While the scan was taking place it seemed to take forever. I was thinking back over what she had said and worst case scenarios kept crossing my mind. Thankfully the obstetrician said it was all gravy, and we could take a look. You could see its' little arms and legs fidgeting, and it did some sort of somersault. Elouise says it has my big nose, and that it's a boy. For saying that, I hope it's a girl with her fat arse...

   

 (P.s. I'm joking please don't snap my FIFA disc.) 

  After the scan El had to have a couple of mini-appointments. One of these I think was to discuss something about the scan. The little fella was so curled up they couldn't measure the amount of fluid around the neck, which is what they look for when predicting Downs syndrome. Because of this Elouise has to go for blood tests to double check, but it's all routine so no worries.

  The other appointment is to make sure mum-to-be is happy and well looked after, i.e. not being abused, I assure you, she is well and good hence this went swimmingly. 

  I just want to add that during this time waiting (as I wasn't allowed in to these mini-appointments), I was accompanied by Laura. She is amazing. Not only does she dote over Elouise which reassures me of what a great grandmother she'll be, but she looked at things from my point of view and put me at ease, even at a time when her daughter was a greater concern, and that meant a lot. 

  ***

   I took a wander at one point to call my sister and got a little lost outside the antenatal ward. I shit you not, there was a woman around my age not far from popping, sat on the kerb outside with a roll-up.

She saw me looking at her and clearly could not give two.

  I am a smoker myself and plan to quit sooner rather than later, and El quit the day she found out we were pregnant. So I'm not dead against smoking. But the sight of someone sat there being so careless about the life they were responsible for knocked me sick. Especially in an environment where you had women going in and out and had to walk past this. It was disgusting.

  Speaking of all things disgusting, after a long day today we decided to nip to the Aldi that is literally thirty seconds away, to get something for tea. Specially Selected Cod we bought, chip shop style. Bollocks was it. Never again. 

  But yeah. All in all it was a good day, and we should find out the sex on the 18th May, which is ages away. Vote at the top of the page...

But It's A Delicacy!!

  I have aforementioned feeding your other half whatever she desires, whenever she requires it. That said, I'd like to add this: If your significant other would like a certain foodstuff or tasty beverage and you too would like a percentile of this consumable, then buy more than one. My experience tends to be based on the purchase of two of my favourite things. Fresh orange juice and milkshake. If you think that one large carton of Tropicana With Juicy Bits will last until breakfast the following morn, it will not. When you ask if 1.5Litres of Aldi's own brand strawberry flavoured dairy drink, "MooMilk", is enough for both of you... the answer may be yes, but I assure you it means no. I didn't get a sip. Then again when has that ever been any different? Forgive me if I attributed that to pregnancy/hormones...

  At least if I don't get my fair share of "Moo Milk", I get allllllll the meat in the house. Elouise is a pescatarian, so any Tesco's Finest Bresaola or Cruga Kudu Biltong is all mine. Cheese singles are fair game in our house though. They aren't real cheese and they taste like plastic but we eat them like crisps.
  Speaking of foodage and whatnot, I have a somewhat controversial subject matter...
Virtually since the beginning of the pregnancy, I have expressed my desire to eat the placenta when our child is born. I mean, I wouldn't just devour it right there and then. I'd ask for it in a doggy bag before they chuck it in one of those yellow bags with all the afterbirth...yum.

  Apparently you can cook it however you want. Fry it. Boil it. Roast it. Mince it into a sausage if your heart so desires. The way I see it, it is an opportunity that only comes along every now and then. I love meat. And not just your standard cuts, I mean like dried and cured meats, game to kangaroo. Now here along comes a meat (or offal) you can very rarely sample, that is both versatile and cheap (In fact free once every child!).
  I won't go putting a picture of a raw, or cooked placenta on here, you can Google it yourself if you wish. But I do think it's a great opportunity to try something that is otherwise unavailable. Plus, I've recently been watching that 10,000BC series on Channel 5. They'd probably have fought over the bastard thing. Is it really that weird that I want to try it?

BREAKING NEWS: Primrose enters as 100/1 rank outsider...

  When March 17th comes around we won't be finding out the sex of the baby, it's too early on. Despite this, baby books are lying around the place and there's a list of names for either sex. I'm really not arsed either way whether we have a son or daughter (you can vote at the top of the page), but I am arsed about the name. Not because I have any particular preference, but the question is basically, "Aaron, what name would you like to shout repeatedly in the aisles of Tesco for the next ten years?"...
  So I'm thinking something short. Definitely not four syllables. "Willoughby-Montague Darby, put down the Kinder Egg!"... F*** that , uses too much breath.
  Luckily, Elouise and I seem to be on a similar page when it comes to names. SIMILAR page. Not the same. I do not agree with all of these, but here's a sneak preview of the lists so far.
  To make this more interesting, and to demonstrate which names I prefer, I have added the odds at which bookmakers are pricing the name of our unborn...

     The process of choosing a name is hard. It'd be easier if we knew the sex of the baby. Elouise refuses to consider the name of anyone she has ever known, or even any celebrity she dislikes. This makes it harder. Anyways, we both seem to have a similar idea, although it's early days so don't go banging fifty quid on Luca/Luna E/W just yet...

Genetically Modified Plums

  Following my last post, Elouise and I have debated the accuracy of apps when it comes to foetal size. The app she's been using suggested that the foetus grew from the size of a fig, to a plum. We were both in agreement that your standard fig is larger than your average plum. Elouise says it's because Americans must have different fruit and veg than us. Even if they're not, its a pretty narrow margin. So the app has been thrown into doubt. During this conversation, Elouise thought this a great time to raise some of her other concerns, like what would happen if my immediate family died in a car crash and resulted in me spiraling and becoming an abusive father and partner. I genuinely don't know if that was the hormones again or not, but if it was the former, there's a heads up.

  On a lighter note, we have the first scan date booked. From what I've read, our little one has all their organs, fingernails and minute hairs. It's head is still half the length of its body though, so nowhere near in proportion. It can apparently move all of its tiny limbs, and now do somersaults in the womb. I hope it gets in all the exercise it can, with the 20th anniversary of Pokemon this year it'll be right on the Gameboy/DS from birth. Not that I need a gaming partner, but on the Pokemon Red/Blue re-release, you need to link up with a partner to get all 150 of the original Pokemon, and Elouise isn't too keen... Loser... Anyways, scan date is on the 17th March! Happy days!