Ten Weeks In

  Last night, Elouise said it was ten weeks to the day since she conceived. It's gone quite fast really, and it's amazing how quickly the foetus develops. We looked at a few pictures and comparisons online. Apparently it now has limbs and fingers,organs are forming and it's around the size of a grape. To be honest it  looks like something you could buy on a Chinese market fried on a stick. But yeah, it's on its way to becoming a proper little dude. 

  Our first scan is in a couple of weeks, where they will check all the limbs and organs are cool, and also test for Down's Syndrome. Pretty exciting times, but the last time we had an appointment it was with the midwife and I felt kind of excluded. Elouise picked up on this so I know it wasn't just me. For an hour and a half they spoke directly to her and barely acknowledged me as a part of things, which was a bit shit. 

  Thing is, I am equally excited about what's going on and once baby is born, I will be an equal part of it's life. So it's really frustrating when you don't feel included. Elouise has been wicked though and I'm glad she recognised how I may have felt about that. 

  I feel ready to be a dad now. Some days anyway. I mean I know I will do a great job of it, and I won't mind having extra responsibility. 

  But then again, today I had the day off work so I slept in. When I woke up I headed downstairs for breakfast. What did I have? M&M's cereal... That's not even a thing! It's just M&M's in a bowl with milk. They were crispy M&M'S mind you, so had some cereal in to be fair.

 But my point is, I spent my afternoon watching Spongebob Squarepants and sipping blue tinted milk from a bowl, and it was brilliant... Probably can't get away with that in a few months time so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Documenting Shizzle...

   Since discovering we were going to be parents, I've been thinking of ways to document things, just to keep a record. I think about in the future when our son/daughter shows an interest in their past. If I want to see times gone by, me mam and dad have a shed load of photo albums in the loft/under their bed. But I haven't actually physically seen a photo in ages. Nowadays photos are straight on Facebook, and that's about it. So I'm gonna try cover all angles. I am writing this blog. I am taking daily photos of the bump, and I am writing a little book.

 

  The book is basically a mini diary, which I am going to write entries for when I can be arsed, not every day. It includes the fact we were unsure about things and is a genuinely honest little project. No bullshitting my future child...
  For me this works as a nice little outlet for all my baby thoughts while documenting the story for our child. Kinda fun. Plus it includes Sky Sports type stats and facts on his/her parents, along with cartoons to go alongside the diary entries. This was also the first time in my life I have ever written 'from Dad', and I ain't gonna lie I got a little emotional at this. Hope that in eighteen years or so my kid treasures it...

XBOX...We've had some good times...

 

  So it's a month or so on since finding out the news, and a lot of shit has gone down...

Telling the parents wasn't fantastic. You know when you imagine telling the rents and they're all like, "Yay, we're going to be grandparents!!"... Doesn't happen boys. Doesn't happen. 

  Well it might do for you, but it took my parents a few days to come round. My sister on the other hand (who I'd told a week earlier), was on board from the start. She was amazing and calmed me down a whole lot. So my advice lads, tell your sister if you have one. Already I was starting to think how important a sibling could be for our little un', rather than panic about the one that was on the way.

  Since then I've been a lot more positive and just looking forward to the whole thing. But recently I have started to note a few things that drastically change in the missus during pregnancy. Something I hadn't really thought about so far, and they come thick and fast. Tiredness, sickness, anxiety over baby's well-being and generally being a bit mental. Firstly, support her. The first time she kicked off with me over nothing I reacted accordingly, not even thinking. I quickly came to realise the error of my ways and things to consider to make life easier for the both of us...

• Hormones are ridiculously strong, and you cannot compete with them. If you find yourself embroiled in a totally unnecessarily heated debate over the permutations of an investigation in the BBC's hit crime drama Happy Valley, back down. You are wrong. She is ALWAYS right. 
• Do not cook Thai Green Curry flavour Super Noodles (or any other pungent smelling food stuffs) within a 20 metre proximity of your other half. This will cause your beloved to feel nauseous and an argument will ensue, only ending when your noodles have gone cold. Pointless.
• If your girlfriend/wife is en route, be sure to have a bath run in time for her arrival. Consider candles/ambient music/warm towel to ensure maximum relaxation and minimise her angry hormonalness.
• If you know your way around a stove, do the cooking. If you know which side of the washing machine drawer to put the tablet, and which to put the fabric softener, do the washing too. (The tablet normally goes in the left compartment on most washing machine models, with the conditioner going in the central compartment. F*** measuring it out in the lid though, just bung it in.)
• If your girlfriend is ratty and tired, get her to bed. Seriously. You know when you get proper snappy cos' you stayed up all night trying to get into Division 4 on FIFA online, and you haven't eaten all day? Well she's basically like that only she needs a piss every ten minutes and feels like she's hungover. Try to empathise, and sort her out with a hot water bottle. Imagine you'd sunk fifteen Stella's last night, haven't slept and can't even stomach a Maccy's hangover cure... That's how she likely feels. Tuck her in real tight, then head back downstairs and get on with your promotion ambitions. If you are building a Premier League team, don't shun Fernandinho just because he has a fairly average 80 rating. The guy is a machine. If you are 2-0 down against 'Egg Fried Reus' with ten minutes to go, he's your man. Tireless midfielder, defensively astute and a dangerous asset going forward.
• If you smoke, stop. Or like myself, try and keep it on the d-low. Elouise smoked until the day we found out she was with child, and did really well to stop right away. I still smoke. But now the smell knocks her rotten so I have to keep out of the way with it. Her nose is like that of a bloodhound. I can rip a fart in our bedroom and she'll text me from work calling me a dirty get. Not really, but her senses are heightened...
• She will be tired. Like effing shattered. All the time. It's not a bad thing really, it just means that things are going so well in utero, that your missus is working doubly hard and is a bit done in. Let her sleep whenever she needs to and don't interrupt it unless you are offering food. 

  So yeah. Nowadays it's not all free time = FIFA and GTAV. It's get shit in order, make sure the woman who is carrying your unborn child is comfortable, then maybe squeeze in a game while she sleeps. That said I cannot stress the importance of continuing gaming during this period. Imagine when your kid starts playing Xbox and he inherits a GTAV fund of $34 and an Ultimate Team headed by a silver card Joey Barton and Tony Pulis as manager with the wrong formation... Not worth the embarrassment....

The Story So Far

  Elouise and I have known each other for a long time, but we haven't been together all that long. Around six months or ago we pretty much started living together, and mid January, moved into a new house together. New as in, to us. The house is quite old, and is in Glossop. Most things here are old. Glossop is a region of Derbyshire around fifteen miles east of Manchester. It's fair to say it's taken me some time to adjust... The average age is seventy, the bus stops are made out of stone and there are four cobblers on one street. FOUR! Who are these people breaking their shoes so often, that shoe repair demand is that high?? F*** me...

  Anyways, we found out about the pregnancy the day before our housewarming. By found out, I mean took several pregnancy tests as the panic set in. We weren't prepared for it and to be honest, was rather looking forward to a knees-up the following night.
  We decided to pretend we didn't know until after the housewarming. Then once everyone had left the next day, begin discussions. We didn't really know where to start. This was four/five weeks into the pregnancy, we hadn't planned it and still had the option to 'get rid' if we chose to. Now neither of us could stomach the thought of getting an abortion, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do, so we booked an abortion in for the following Monday.
  We had weighed up the pro's and con's. We hadn't been together all that long, our finances aren't exactly booming, we rent our house, it's just awful timing... But then again we love each other, and it's not like we are too young, or couldn't cope. The next week was pretty shitty.
  Elouise was up and down. One day feeling positive and certain over the abortion being the best choice, the next questioning everything. It was awful. Because see the thing is, I was exactly the same, but knew I couldn't let it show. I felt I had to stand firm on our decision, but not because I didn't want to reverse it. In fact as each day went by I wanted the baby more and more, but I felt I couldn't express this otherwise it would add more pressure onto my other half. It was proper, proper hard, but it meant I had time to think things over myself too.
  Maybe this wasn't the best way to deal with it, but that's what I did. The following Monday when the morning of the abortion came, we just didn't go. And that was our mind pretty much made up.
  I can't wait to be a father...

 

Welcome to the Countdown

   Hi. My name is Aaron, and my other half, Elouise is nine weeks preggers.
Since we found out this vital piece of information, apart from panic I have tried to do as much research as I can to help the missus, and myself cope with the changes and prepare for this adventure.
  Elouise has a few "What to Expect" books, and a plethora of apps which follow baby's progress and give the ma' some helpful tips etc.

  But it seems there is f*** all out there for the blokes. So I have decided to document this miraculous event from here on in, detailing the ups and downs of, basically everything to do with being an expectant dad. Guts and all. More to follow...